i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field
Majestic motherfucking creatures they are
marvel idea: give black widow a female love interest. me. hire me to kiss scarlett johansson.
Tavern Brawls and Town Guard Ideas
It inevitably happens to every party of adventurers; you all meet in a tavern, or all get waylaid going to said tavern, or all run in the same direction after ‘accidentally’ blowing it up. Having a tavern brawl or brush with the law is bound to happen at some point or other, but the same old thing, while classic, does get tired after a while.
So with this in mind, here’s a dozen ideas to freshen up your standard bar fight or guard encounter.
- A rowdy patron has been bothering a noticeably charismatic young barmaid, and makes a cheeky grab. He recoils quickly and rapidly turns to aggression, nursing his wounded hand where her viper familiar, who had been resting comfortably in her bodice, has bitten him.
- The party has caught up with an old acquaintance in the tavern. Everything seems jovial, until another version of him bursts in and claims the other to be a doppleganger.
- A big, burly half-orc barbarian is causing trouble, and starts throwing furniture around. At least, that’s what it looks like until a well placed Dispel Magic removes the Polymorph, revealing a very buffed gnome sorceress.
- Selrik is what the establishment owner calls a ‘non-traditional serving lass’. While she is certainly capable of waiting tables and bringing drinks, it has not escaped the attention of some close-minded out of town ‘adventurers’ that Selrik is, in fact, a kobold in a straw wig with two apples in her shirt, and are making their opinions known.
- An amicable wizard walks into the rundown bar, and most of the locals quickly attempt to leave without drawing attention to themselves. The barman seems reluctant to serve him, but the wizard is quite firm about “just one drink,” which then turns into another, and another. While quite pleasant to talk to, when sufficiently inebriated the PCs realize why the locals walked out when the furniture comes to life and starts thrashing about.
- An alluring, well dressed gentleman somewhat nervously approaches the bar and asks for a drink. His confidence grows with his inebriation, and he begins to look like an increasingly tempting target for the local cutpurse. When challenged, however, the gentleman is revealed to be a young, and now quite drunk, silver dragon, and keeps saying the experience is ‘terribly cultural’.
- The town guard is called to a fracas, including a worried new recruit. He seems to be holding his own quite well, until a hefty blow makes him lose concentration, and shift to his wolf form.
- The watch captain is known to be biased against halflings, believing them all to be inherent thieves. As such the party halfling has been followed since walking into town, with guards looking for any reason at all for an arrest.
- The guard captain in this forest town is a ranger, and any troublemakers resisting arrest will have to deal with his companion, and the squad mascot, Sabre the Bear.
- The watch sergeant has an unusual weapon: a talking axe she liberated in days long past. The axe is particularly verbose and shows no hesitation at screaming at those ‘filthy lawbreakers!’.
- The PCs have been a little less prudent than usual, earning the ire of the watch. Is it a coincidence that some of its members look uncannily similar to a pack of bandits the PCs fought off not too long ago?
- The laws are harsh and a little different here. Those convicted of serious crimes are put to death, but are also expected to serve time. When the guards come out in force they come with reinforcements: animated corpses of criminals, the noose still around their necks, lead by their executioner.
Well, since the serum is an enhancement, it’s unlikely to be passed through genetics (the doctors probably tested this, somehow, haha). Steve’s kids are more likely to inherit his asthma and weak stature.
OH MY GOD THO
A SINISTER GOVT EXPERIMENT TO CREATE AN ARMY OF TINY CAPTAIN AMERICAS
STEVE FINDS OUT ABOUT IT AT SOME POINT
AND IT’S BASICALLY ELEVEN TOW-HEADED, ASTHMATIC, ALLERGIC, IMMUNO-COMPROMISED LITTLE BEANPOLES WITH BAD ATTITUDES
SOCKED AWAY SOMEWHERE
LIKE IN A WAREHOUSE OR WHATEVER
WITH A COUPLE OF OVERWHELMED INTERNS BABYSITTING THEM
BECAUSE THE RESEARCHERS HAD ALL THEIR FUNDING TAKEN AWAY WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA’S SECRET UBERMENCH CLONES TURNED OUT TO BE A BUNCH OF WEAKLINGS
AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH THIS GAGGLE OF KIDS (WHO ARE SHRILL AND UNMANAGEABLE AND WHEEZE A LOT)
EXCEPT MAKE SURE THEY GET ADEQUATE MEDICAL CARE AND REGULAR MEALS
AND REGRET THEIR IN RETROSPECT VERY OBVIOUS ERRORS
AND HOPE STEVE DOESN’T FIND OUT
WHICH OF COURSE HE DOES
BACK AT THE TOWER
EVERYONE’S INHALERS KEEP GETTING MIXED UP
THERE ARE COLORED PENCILS EVERYWHERE
A FISTFIGHT ABOUT THE NATURE OF JUSTICE ENSUES BETWEEN THE 9 YEAR OLD ONE AND ONE OF THE 11 YEAR OLDS
I was tagged by spectrealafete
this is one of those “Replace with your answers and tag people things.”
Name: Ehhh, let’s go with Soul
Nickname: I will also answer to Eash, but not irl
Birthday: December 11th
Sexuality: hella fucking queer
Time zone: EST
What time and date is it there: 3:22 P.M. on September 1st, 2014
Average hours of sleep I get a night: anywhere from 6-9, depending on if the dog wakes me up to go outside
Last thing I googled was: “how many people died in the battle of New York”
Most used phrase(s): We only give free samples on Sunday.
First word that comes to mind: The
One place that makes me happy and why: The swing behind my parent’s house, because when I sit on it I am always surrounded by dogs.
How many blankets I sleep under: One sheet, one comforter, sometimes an extra blanket if I’ve got my fan turned up really high
Favorite beverage: Diet Coke or Tequila Sunrises
Last movie I watched in the cinema: If we’re counting the shitty theater the local tech was doing, Maleficent. Otherwise, The Giver.
Three things I can’t live without: Dogs, ebooks, peppermints
A piece of advice to all my followers: Your smile and kind words might be the only one a stranger receives all day. Try to be friendly and polite to people, because you never know what they are going through.
You all have to listen to this song: Lament for Boromir - Colin Rudd because everyone should be sad about this.
I tagged a bunch of people yesterday, and I don’t want to get obnoxious about it. So if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.